Just A Simple Online Nerd

Plus two strokes for hilarity

Some things just shouldn’t be kept to yourself.

Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favorite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn’t quite the same without him.

A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round at the coffee table.

Curious, she spoke up, “You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?”

The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant. Not one of them wanted to say ‘yes’, but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be ok, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am. He figured the early Tee-Time would discourage her immediately.

The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be ok. She smiled and said, “Good, then I’ll be here either at 6:30 or 6:45.”

She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed!

Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week.

She smiled and said “Sure, I’ll be here at 6:30 or 6:45.”

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even par round despite playing with her off-hand.

By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn’t figure her out.

She was again very pleasant and didn’t seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbor a burning desire to beat her!

In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late! This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her.

As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part.

Finally she showed up. This week the lady Lawyer played right-handed which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her.

This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability. They had a couple beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up.

Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, “How do you decide if you’re going to golf right-handed or left-handed?”

The lady blushed and grinned. She said, “That’s easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth.

Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude. From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed and if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed. All the girls on the team thought this was hysterical.”

Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, “But what if it’s pointed straight up in the air?”

She said, “Then I’m fifteen minutes late.”

Chuck is my hero!

For the few readers I actually have left, you’ve probably noticed my site’s been in a bit of a “meltdown” status the past week or more. I’m not really sure what triggered the original meltdown, but it evolved into the fact that one of my tables had crashed and I couldn’t fix it.

So, today, Chuck worked some command line MySQL magic and all is well again.

So, Chuck is officially my hero. Thanks, Chuck!

Attention to detail fail

I’m a huge proponent of paying attention to what you’re doing. Attention to detail is something I stress very heavily to every member of my family because it can avoid everything from wasted time to an injury or even a car wreck.

Too many times I’ve seen someone make a horrendous mistake that could have been avoided if they had just taken an extra 10 seconds to pay attention to what they were doing.

So, with the emphasis I put on paying attention to detail and noticing things around you, I can really take some lumps when I inevitably mess up. Case in point, the search for the clip fan.

A few years ago, I bought a clip fan (a small fan with a chip-clip-like base) to clip onto my computer desk and window sill to keep me cool when the wife says it’s too cold (her internal thermostat is so off as to be laughable). Well, it’s starting to get warmer out, so the search for where I put the fan in the cold off months began. Both the wife and I searched for this thing.

We decimated the house. Seriously. It still hasn’t recovered. No fan. Anywhere.

This was a week ago. Last night I was just casually walking through the house and what does my wandering gaze behold, but the clip fan clipped to the make-shift drying/hanging rack we have in the living room doorway. As in the door I have to pass through everyday do to just about everything.

I haven’t told the wife yet, but, the saving grace here, if there is such a thing in a case like this, is that she walked by it just as many times and never noticed it.

The only risk of failure is promotion

So, the company I work for (hereto referred to as Employer, Inc) seems to be impressed with the word I’ve been doing (I’m a sub-contractor on a much larger contract) and has deemed me worthy of a sort of promotion.

Employer, Inc, which is not based in the same state as I am, nor do they have any other employee in this state other than the few that work on this contract. That being said, I’ve been made their point of contact for the area. This means I have to keep them apprised if job openings, goings-ons at the site, help local employees with vacation/time-card issues, providing a local mailing address for material distribution, etc, etc. Basically, up to the line of calling me a supervisor but stopping just short.

Still, it’s more recognition, more pay, more responsibility and more possibilities if I don’t blow it.

The title of this post is a quote from the great cubicle chronicler himself, Scott Adams and if you don’t know who Scott Adams is, go slam a very sensitive part of your body in a door jam.

SLACKER

Yes, I admit, I’ve been a massive slacker when it comes to posting. It isn’t like I don’t have things to say. It’s just that I have tons of stuff going on and just don’t have time to sit down and write a lengthy post. Twitter and Facebook lend itself more towards my posting style nowadays.

However, it seems that I’m unable to relinquish this domain out of some sick sense of nostalgia, so I guess I gotta dust it off and do some posts.

Twitter Updates for 2009-04-27

• Sore, tired and desperately not wanting to write this test plan… #
• On a test plan roll! It’ll either be glorious or a catastrophe! Personally? I rooting for glorious. #

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Twitter Updates for 2009-04-27

• Ugh. Ate too much for dinner last night. Stomach is a big ball of acidy vengance this morning… #
• Needed a vent session with someone.Went for korean with coworker & feel much better now. Everyone needs to vent sometime. #
• Note to wait staff, when I order katsu-don and you bring me sashimi, DO NOT argue with me over what I ordered. I know between raw and cooked #
• It’s awesome that Food Network put Robert Irvine back in charge of Dinner Impossible. Wasn’t the same without him. #
• Oh silly porn spammers. When will you learn that I actually pay attention to who is following me on twitter? #

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Twitter Updates for 2009-04-27

• Ugh. Ate too much for dinner last night. Stomach is a big ball of acidy vengance this morning… #
• Needed a vent session with someone.Went for korean with coworker & feel much better now. Everyone needs to vent sometime. #
• Note to wait staff, when I order katsu-don and you bring me sashimi, DO NOT argue with me over what I ordered. I know between raw and cooked #
• It’s awesome that Food Network put Robert Irvine back in charge of Dinner Impossible. Wasn’t the same without him. #
• Oh silly porn spammers. When will you learn that I actually pay attention to who is following me on twitter? #

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Weather forecast in your Palm OS Calendar

Ooookay. So, I figure I might was well post to something OTHER than Twitter (my twitter site).

If you’re like me and are unwilling to make the jump from your trusted Palm OS device (a Centro, in my case), here’s how I added weather forecasts to my Palm Calendar.

Some caveats:

1. I sync to Google Calendar using the premium version of GooSync. GooSync is, decidedly, NOT free.
2. You need to give your Zip Code to Google Calendar in your calendar Settings
3. My way requires a data plan; also, decidedly, NOT free.
4. I use Categories in GooSync. I don’t know how to do this with tags.
5. I DO NOT sync to my desktop. At all.

If you’re willing to live with these things, you can easily get basic weather reports into your Calendar.

Assuming you already have the data plan and the premium version of GooSync, fire up Google Calendar and click on Settings in the upper-right hand corner. Once your settings are up, look for the section labelled “Show weather based on my location:” and check the radio button next to either C of F, depending on what you prefer.

Once you hit save, you’ll see that a calendar titled “Weather” has been added to your “Other Calendars” section. The key that makes this all work is the fact that Google has setup the Weather Forecast calendar as just another calendar feed.

From here:

• Login to your GooSync account
• Click on the “Customise” link next to Google Calendar
• Click on the “Refresh Google Calendars” button

The Weather calendar should now show up in your Other Calendars list. To make sure GooSync sync your new calendar:

• Click the “Edit” button next to the Weather calendar
• Check the box in the sync column
• Click the “Update” button

Now, the moment of truth. On your Palm, fire up the GooSync application and sync. After if finishes, open your calendar and there should be a High/Low forecast for your zip code at the top of the calendar in the un-timed section.

Now, this is just a basic High/Low and will not give you any detailed weather forecast even though you WILL get more detailed information in your Google Calendar.

It’s true that any dedicated Weather App for the Palm or mobile weather site will get you more information in a mostly easy to read format without cluttering your calendar. In fact, I run and LOVE kmeteo and applications such as 4cast, Handy Weather, xWeather and Deluxeware Weather, among others, offer a great deal more information. In fact, Deluxeware’s Weather can even integrate into the Palm’s keyguard on Treo and Centro devices, giving you more information than this every time you power on your device (and is currently on sale for $5.95 for an infinity subscription!).

However, it was fun and great to do for the sheer thrill of doing it and seeing weather forecasts in my calendar. Plus, I already had the data plan and the premium GooSync subscription, so I like making more use of them, even if it’s for silly things.

Alrighty. I do believe it’s bedtime.

Twitter Updates for 2009-04-21

• Hey, if Windows 7 Starter Edition really does end up costing $15, I’d run it on my Asus. 3 App limit be damned. http://tr.im/jnPd #

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